I Now Love Raitis Ivanans (and new bonus nickname)

…because of the insane ferocity with which he charged at whoever it was who ran Drewiske. That was just about the scariest thing I have ever seen and every team in the league should have it in mind when they play the Kings.

When I was a kid, there was a nerdy genre of board games made by Avalon Hill, super complex strategy games that simulated World War II scenarios with little bits of cardboard you moved around. More or less like Risk if Risk were designed by Stephen Hawking. One such game was Squad Leader, which simulated infantry battles between Russian and German troops. The Russian soldiers were generally poorly armed and hungry and all-round much less powerful than their Nazi counterparts, but they had one delightful feature: they would randomly — i.e. at the roll of a die — go “berserk,” at which point the player who was playing the Russian side would lose control of the Russian character, who would assume twice (or something) his usual strength and run screaming through the streets killing every Nazi in sight with abandon. His piece was swapped out with a bright red one, to indicate his “berserker” status. Anyway, Ivanans has been swapped out for little red cardboard Ivanans, whom I much prefer. Just like when I was playing Squad Leader when I was ten. [UPDATE:  as the  picture below  proves, the berserker pieces were orange, not red;  in my memory they are red.]


  4 comments for “I Now Love Raitis Ivanans (and new bonus nickname)

  1. bbtsj
    October 7, 2009 at 6:54 AM

    Hey quisp, I’m as big of an Ivanans-hater as there is, but I gotta kinda agree; loved the ferocity. But I had a problem with the way it went down, and it wasn’t necessarily Ivanans’ fault. It frustrates me off that he he didn’t do it to Staubitz, the guy who actually dangerously, recklessly, and disrespectfully cheap-shotted my man Drewiske. THAT guy pretty much skated away towards his bench scott-free. I wish Ivanans had said to him YOU (punch) DON’T (punch) DO (punch) THAT (punch).

    THAT would be policing the game, which is the enforcer’s job. Maybe it was the “fighters’ code of conduct” that forced Ivanans to fight Shelley, but it goes against the underlying moral of personal responsibility that fighting is supposed to “enforce”. But perhaps this is an example of another way that fighting has changed over the years, and for the worse. If YOU cheap-shot someone, YOU are supposed to pay. Now, if YOU cheap-shot someone, YOUR TOUGH-GUY pays. I don’t like it.

  2. wavesinair
    October 7, 2009 at 12:02 PM

    “Berserkers were Norse warriors who are reported in the Old Norse literature to have fought in a nearly uncontrollable, trance-like fury, a characteristic which later gave rise to the English word berserk.”

    Latvia is pretty darn close to Scandinavia. Ivan the Berserker

    “This fury, which was called berserkergang, is said to have begun with shivering, chattering of the teeth, and chill in the body, and then the face swelled and changed its colour. With this was connected a great hot-headedness, which at last gave over into a great rage, under which they howled as wild animals, bit the edge of their shields, and cut down everything they met without discriminating between friend or foe. When this condition ceased, a great dulling of the mind and feebleness followed, which could last for one or several days.”

    THAT is funny.

  3. Surly Jacob
    October 7, 2009 at 6:32 PM


    Ivanans went after Staubitz and got one punch in, but Staubitz ducked away like a wimpy snake right as Shelley came from behind Ivanans and started fighting him. Ivanans had no time to react except to punch the guy who was punching him.

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