Note: this really happened:

Center Juraj Mikus scored his first goal of the season on his first shot during his first shift in his first game of the season

via News.

 

Some posts the robot says are related, but I'll let you be the judge of that:

1. Bob Miller’s Nightmare
2. Scoring Benchmarks After Game 19
3. Monarchs Tidbits
4. experimental mobile post composed while stewing fOr two hours in dmv hell, in which i free assoc-
5. From The Legend of Juraj Mikus – Inside the Kings
6. Hickey Scores First Pro Goal
7. Bernier Extinguishes Lowell’s Fire