Last year, sports swag guru Paul Lukas [...] released NHL jersey power rankings on ESPN.com in which he determined the best-looking [...] and worst-looking [...] sweaters in the NHL.The rankings have been updated for 2013, and we have a new Worst Jersey In The NHL … and it’s a team that’s rarely been accused of such blasphemy. The Los Angeles Kings have the NHL’s worst sweaters according to Lukas, who must really, really love the color purple and mourn its removal from the jerseys.
I didn’t know I was so in the minority. Here’s me, from March, 2011:
- I’m willing to bet some marketing genius thinks black is sleek or cool or intimidating or something. But you know what’s really sleek and cool and intimidating? The Red Wings uniforms. The Leafs uniforms. Montreal’s.
- Aside from the monochrome, monotonous, unimaginative, tedious, snooziness of the palette, there’s the issue of the logo. It sucks.
- Even people who like the Medieval Times jerseys usually are just barely tolerating the logo. It looks like it stepped out of the Renaissance Fair if the Renaissance Fair had focus groups.
- Check out the comments over at LAKi. People who like the Medieval Times outfit add, “but couldn’t you use the crown instead?” I guess they don’t understand that once the change is made we’re all going to have to suffer with that upside-down house shape for several years.
- I am 100% sure this is a marketing firm-generated focus-group-sanitized logo. The tell: there is nothing interesting about it. The font is like a bad Mac font that you try and then recoil from. It suggests Anglo-Saxon Arthurian pageantry and splendor — but so what? We’re not putting on plays here. This is a hockey team.
- (p.s. the stupid plastic dry-ice castle is stupid for the same reason, but we can leave that for another day.)
- The logo is shaped like home plate. I know it’s supposed to be a crest. The buffaslug was supposed to be a streaking bison. That didn’t stop people from mocking it.
I highly recommend you check out the whole post, because it’s long and snarky. But, for those of you who don’t like to click on links, here’s some more highlights:
- Going hog-wild with the monarchy theme is a little embarrassing. What if the Raiders suddenly went all peg-legs and eye-patches and ARR! Or, the Lakers decided to go all-in with a “lake” theme? “Lakers” meant something once, but now it’s lost that old meaning and acquired a new one, which is: we are the best team in the world.
- The Purple and Gold jerseys are classic. They are simple. They are beautiful. The colors echo those of the Lakers in an understated way — like how the Penguins’ colors were changed to suggest the heritage of the Steelers and the Pirates.
- You know how sometimes you’ll watch a Red Wings/Leafs game just because the uniforms look so beautiful on TV? I get that feeling watching the Kings in the purple and gold. I feel like I’m watching a hockey game.
- I’ll admit, the Kings uniforms seemed lame in the 70s, but that’s because they were new, they were not original six. But now, forty years later, they feel closer to that Original Six era than this corporate/mass-marketed one. It’s strange to suddenly realize this, but the Kings are one of the oldest, most historic franchises in the league. The purple and gold embodies that. [...]
- This might just be me, so feel free to ignore. Those rich colors — Detroit’s red, Toronto’s blue, the King’s purple — actually are mouth-watering. They literally make me hungry. Like I said, maybe just me. But maybe not. Our brains are wired to respond to color in this way. I’m sure there’s someone in the food industry who can back me up. [...]
- My son plays a lot of NHL 11. The first thing he does is always to dress the Kings in purple, because it looks so good. Same with the old Seals jerseys, and the Whalers, and the Jets; they all look fabulous in the game. Whether it’s EA Sports digital, or live in HD, those colors just pop.
- The last thought is one I keep coming back to. I picture the Dodgers uniforms, and the Lakers — both classic, iconic designs — and then I picture the Medieval Times jerseys next to them. Stupid, right? Black jerseys with a shield; they look like the mean, evil team in a hockey movie (the rich bullies our heroes have to defeat — they always wear black) and the uniforms in the movies always look, well, not like real uniforms. The Medieval Times uniforms have that inauthentic look, too. [...]
I expect the Kings to win the cup someday in the (near?) future. As happy as I will be on that day, picturing the Medieval Times guys skating around with the cup…from a purely aesthetic perspective, it’s not much better than watching the Ducks do it.
Since that historic day has come to pass, even I have the inevitable emotional attachment to these stupid bland jerseys. They will always and forever be the jerseys they won the cup in. So, in that sense, the battle has been definitively lost. Oh well. At least I have the Kings on the cup to console me in my grief.
Also, in my defense, I’ve been on this particular hobby horse for a long time:
Last thought: even my Philly West logo is better, isn’t it? Oh, never mind. I’m tired. It’s August. Where’s the hockey?