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Miss America has two boyfriends…

Miss California has two boyfriends, Jonathan Quick and you, Jonathan Bernier. She wants to date both and choose her steady boyfriend at some point in the future. She’s kind of leaning toward Quick. Then she wins Miss America. Then she marries Quick. But she would still like to pay you a visit every once in awhile. Not very often, but just when her new husband needs a rest. 

Tuesday’s Must Read: “some stories are better backwards.”

Ellen Etchingham: Patrick Roy has transcended the mundane positional errors and puckhandling miscues of ordinary goalies. He’s invented a whole new caliber of screwing up. And, after seventeen seasons of seeing every kind of shot and every kind of shooter hockey has to offer a hundred times over, he’s invented the only sort of mistake that could still, at that late date, fuck with his head.

ICETHETICS: The Philangeles FlyKings – Concepts

The guy who came up with the design calls them the FlyKings, but I prefer the Phlings. Inspired by Ross Taylor’s series of brand-blended concepts, Ty Hill set out to merge a couple of 1967 expansion clubs. Is this what would happen if the Philadelphia Flyers and Stanley Cup champion Los Angeles Kings mated? I…

Ellen Etchingham, theory_of_ice, MUST READ [CAM JANSSEN CONTENT]

If Janssen’s shit actually worked the way he described, the Devils would be playing him fifteen minutes a night on the top line so he could terrify opposing forwards into coughing the puck up for Kovalchuk. Instead, they don’t dress him for half the regular season and not even one playoff game, and when they do let him play, they give him only five of the very softest minutes against the easiest opposition. Cam Janssen plays the tenderest, juiciest minutes in the game and he still gets roundly crushed in more or less every available metric, including fights [...]. You know what that means? It means Cam Janssen can’t scare anyone out of anything. [...] The only people who are really intimidated are the Devils’ coaching staff, who are patently scared to have Janssen on the ice in any game or situation that actually matters.

Fat Broads You Regret Banging Win Stanley Cup

Meanwhile you, Cam Janssen, aren’t even allowed access to us — the Stanley-Cup Champion Los Angeles Fat Broads — because you didn’t dress for a single game the entire playoffs. Devils’ Cam Janssen calls LA Kings ‘the fat broads you just regret banging’; makes off-color gay joke | Puck Daddy – Yahoo! Sports Cam Janssen, the…

Bernier “expects” to be traded? [also: POLL]

Jonathan Bernier has the cup today in Quebec, and there have been a number of trade-related tweets as a result. Recap: Bernier tells us he asked to be traded near the deadline, #Kings refused. He expects 2be traded close to home near training camp#NHL July 12, 2012 10:29 AM via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite @L_A_theRiver L.A.…

“If we don’t move younger people in, we’re going backwards.”

In Detroit, people are wondering with 39-year-old Tomas Holmstrom will be returning for his sixteenth season. Report: Teams expressing interest in Tomas Holmstrom | ProHockeyTalk Gregg Krupa of the Detroit News caught up with Wings GM Ken Holland and asked about Holmstrom’s future with the club. Noting that Holland was “using much the same language…