Ellen Etchingham: Patrick Roy has transcended the mundane positional errors and puckhandling miscues of ordinary goalies. He’s invented a whole new caliber of screwing up. And, after seventeen seasons of seeing every kind of shot and every kind of shooter hockey has to offer a hundred times over, he’s invented the only sort of mistake that could still, at that late date, fuck with his head.
Tag Archive for mentally-challenged
Ellen Etchingham, theory_of_ice, MUST READ [CAM JANSSEN CONTENT]
by Quisp •
If Janssen’s shit actually worked the way he described, the Devils would be playing him fifteen minutes a night on the top line so he could terrify opposing forwards into coughing the puck up for Kovalchuk. Instead, they don’t dress him for half the regular season and not even one playoff game, and when they do let him play, they give him only five of the very softest minutes against the easiest opposition. Cam Janssen plays the tenderest, juiciest minutes in the game and he still gets roundly crushed in more or less every available metric, including fights [...]. You know what that means? It means Cam Janssen can’t scare anyone out of anything. [...] The only people who are really intimidated are the Devils’ coaching staff, who are patently scared to have Janssen on the ice in any game or situation that actually matters.
Fat Broads You Regret Banging Win Stanley Cup
by Quisp •
Meanwhile you, Cam Janssen, aren’t even allowed access to us — the Stanley-Cup Champion Los Angeles Fat Broads — because you didn’t dress for a single game the entire playoffs. Devils’ Cam Janssen calls LA Kings ‘the fat broads you just…
Just like others before him, Ken Campbell will irritate
by Quisp •
I like to imagine that Ken Campbell wrote a tweet that went something like this: “Lots of bandwagon celebrities at Kings games now. Will they stick around when the Kings don’t repeat?” But then he remembered he doesn’t get paid…
Link
“We’re the flavor of the month. Six months from now I’ll be an idiot again.” –Dean Lombardi
Is signing Jarret Stoll a “must-do”?
by Quisp •
If you’re comparing Stoll to Loktionov, don’t forget that Loktionov is going to get older and better, while Stoll is going to get older and worse. I don’t think Loktionov is going to have too much trouble scoring 20+ goals a year, once he starts getting a regular shift. Do you want to see him do that on another team?
Kings’ have 6 or 7 picks in the upcoming 2012 draft
by Quisp •
Well, let’s see. It’s been a pretty slow news day in Kings Country, but things will start to pick up with the 2012 NHL draft coming in ten days. Let’s look at the Kings’ picks this year.
Mirroring, eh?
by Quisp •
Right. The defenseman “skates the same route” as a forward, only before the forward actually does it? I think that’s called establishing position. The defenseman is occupying the most valuable real estate: the direct path to the puck. The forward is free to skate around the defenseman and his clever “mirroring.”
Stupid Media Narratives, Ctd.
by Quisp •
My favorite part of all of this is how the talking heads (no, not those Talking Heads) whip themselves up in a frenzy with their own made-up narratives (“destiny” “inevitability” “unbeatable” “historic”), and then wheel around and mock their own made-up story like it betrayed them. They set their little plot in motion, and then if it doesn’t work out, then that’s the story.
New Jersey has taken one perfect shot in this series, and it won them game 4
by Quisp •
This is why I hate home ice. I just f***ing hate it. I know it’s irrational. Meanwhile (and contradicting what I just said) Darryl Sutter is right. This game was just like the other three games. Could have gone either…