Tag Archive for mentally-challenged

Tuesday’s Must Read: “some stories are better backwards.”

Ellen Etchingham: Patrick Roy has transcended the mundane positional errors and puckhandling miscues of ordinary goalies. He’s invented a whole new caliber of screwing up. And, after seventeen seasons of seeing every kind of shot and every kind of shooter hockey has to offer a hundred times over, he’s invented the only sort of mistake that could still, at that late date, fuck with his head.

Ellen Etchingham, theory_of_ice, MUST READ [CAM JANSSEN CONTENT]

If Janssen’s shit actually worked the way he described, the Devils would be playing him fifteen minutes a night on the top line so he could terrify opposing forwards into coughing the puck up for Kovalchuk. Instead, they don’t dress him for half the regular season and not even one playoff game, and when they do let him play, they give him only five of the very softest minutes against the easiest opposition. Cam Janssen plays the tenderest, juiciest minutes in the game and he still gets roundly crushed in more or less every available metric, including fights [...]. You know what that means? It means Cam Janssen can’t scare anyone out of anything. [...] The only people who are really intimidated are the Devils’ coaching staff, who are patently scared to have Janssen on the ice in any game or situation that actually matters.

Fat Broads You Regret Banging Win Stanley Cup

Meanwhile you, Cam Janssen, aren’t even allowed access to us — the Stanley-Cup Champion Los Angeles Fat Broads — because you didn’t dress for a single game the entire playoffs. Devils’ Cam Janssen calls LA Kings ‘the fat broads you just regret banging’; makes off-color gay joke | Puck Daddy – Yahoo! Sports Cam Janssen, the…

Just like others before him, Ken Campbell will irritate

I like to imagine that Ken Campbell wrote a tweet that went something like this: “Lots of bandwagon celebrities at Kings games now. Will they stick around when the Kings don’t repeat?” But then he remembered he doesn’t get paid for tweets. So he expanded it into an article. Just like others before them, Kings…

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“We’re the flavor of the month. Six months from now I’ll be an idiot again.” –Dean Lombardi

 

Is signing Jarret Stoll a “must-do”?

If you’re comparing Stoll to Loktionov, don’t forget that Loktionov is going to get older and better, while Stoll is going to get older and worse. I don’t think Loktionov is going to have too much trouble scoring 20+ goals a year, once he starts getting a regular shift. Do you want to see him do that on another team?

Mirroring, eh?

Right. The defenseman “skates the same route” as a forward, only before the forward actually does it? I think that’s called establishing position. The defenseman is occupying the most valuable real estate: the direct path to the puck. The forward is free to skate around the defenseman and his clever “mirroring.”

Stupid Media Narratives, Ctd.

My favorite part of all of this is how the talking heads (no, not those Talking Heads) whip themselves up in a frenzy with their own made-up narratives (“destiny” “inevitability” “unbeatable” “historic”), and then wheel around and mock their own made-up story like it betrayed them. They set their little plot in motion, and then if it doesn’t work out, then that’s the story.